Episode Six

Alright, it was a blubberfest today. Let's get it started.

Deb on the phone with her daughter, still trying to talk about her abortion without a television audience of millions finding out.

Himbos come to the house to service Jenn, fanning her with tree branches and massaging her feet. Jen can't enjoy it. I hate it when people admit their faults, and they such saintly faults they must think they're gods and shit. "My major fault is I'm always doing things for everybody else." Aw, shit. Sounds like someone thinks they're perfect.

Iyanla makes her breakfast. Don't get me wrong, I still back Jen getting all this special treatment. "When was the last time someone made you breakfast?" Iyanla asks. "Never." Hey, that truly does suck.

Ok, I was wrong. Chloe's cute. I think it's cause her hair is at dude length at the moment, that's what threw me off.

GROUP W/ JEN: Jen shows everyone photos of her at 5 with her dad, when she was happy, a "daddy's girl". Protected. She says then he turned into a drug addict and started suckin.

She tells how she started buying everything that she needed herself at 12 cause she didn't want to be a bother to anyone, starts bawling about it. I thought Deb had a sympathetic look on her face, but that will turn out not to be the case. Jen tells everyone how she's "a giver not a taker", and not worth the attention.

Hey, Iyanla makes a good point! "She kept you off drugs, she kept you in school..." Referring to Jen as, "she", another person, so she could see how ridiculous it was for her to believe she doesn't deserve any pampering.

The rest of the housemembers are Jen's slaves for the day. Josie fetches her lunch. Sinae bakes her a cake. Deb gets her ice cream, blows up an inflatable raft for her underwater massage or some shit session that Jen has later that day. Jen's scared of Deborah. Ominous music plays as Deborah blows up the raft as Jen tells the audience she always feels that Deb has ulterior motives for anything good she does.

Jen meets w/egghead psych dude. He tells her she's been carrying a 10 year burden, her parent crap. "What are the POSITIVE traits you got from your father?" He asks. She can't think of a damn one. "Don't you have any good memories before you were five?" Before she was five? My only memory before five was my mom rubbing vegetable oil on my asshole cause I was constipated.

Chloe almost chokes. Josie freaks out. Hey, I feel her pain. I don't have no kid, but if I did, I'd be worried as hell about turning my back for a second and them possibly dying. That's what happened here, Chloe had some sort of buscuit in her mouth, Josie wasn't looking for a millisecond, blam, almost a choke. She would've been fine though, Josie being right there and all to try and get her to cough it up.

Jen has a freakin acquatic massage. Woohoo, it looks like lesbo action in the pool. "I was shocked it was so...loving," Jen says. Yeah, that was hot.

JOSIE SESSION W/RHONDA: Blubbers about the near choke, says she always wants to be there for her baby. She's a good mom. And she still knows that.

Rhonda does an exercise in which Josie admits that she doesn't deserve love or money, Jesus, what the hell is there? Water?

Jen almost bangs Chloe's head on the floor while playing with her! It's not even talked about or addressed at all.

Cut back to Rhonda with Josie: "Chloe doesn't redeem you, you have to do that yourself." Josie says she don't wanna.

Egghead w/Deb: asks her about her love life. I wonder if he knows about that little phone convo the camera crew caught. I halfway expected him after he got her to reiterate that she's been celibate for six years to accuse her of being a lying whore then cutting to the tape to rest his case.

Deb tells him about her morphing to fit in with the group. In the next scene with the housemembers she tells them she only plans to be "25% real", which made them laugh, and me. But it kinda made sense. She's only going to reveal a certain part of herself, and that part is going to be entirely truthful. Hmm.

Deb makes fun of Jen at the table. Baby voice, "Nobody loves me..." Damn. Jen is a little hard to take, being such a young anal skinny white girl, but damn. Having a dad in prison and a mom with M.S. isn't a ride in the park.

Jen with Iyanla, weeps about people doing shit for her today. Tells her how Deb was pissed off that Jen didn't use the raft Deb inflated for her for her acquatic massage deal [she didn't need it]. Hey, I'd be a little irked too, that was a big damn raft. Iyanla says Deborah was your angel today, that if your angel comes with a broken wing you don't make a big deal about it. Well, my angel told me to go fuck myself.

Jen starts crying like the kid she is. "I don't want to pay for it tomorrow..." i.e. Deb isn't going to have to do crap for Jen tomorrow, so the kid gloves will be off. "No you won't..." Iyanla insists. Yeah, she will.

Iyanla makes a note of Jen's huge fear of Deborah. "What does Deborah represent to you?" she asks. Jen being such a goody-2-shoe lookin' honky I halfway expected her to blurt out, "NIGGERS!"

Interesting that Jen misquotes Kim, who when Deborah was making fun of her problems Kim retorted, "I think she would gladly switch places with you...when it comes to the father issue." Jen only tells Iyanla the first part of what Kim said. Sigh. Sorry Jen, your problems aren't as big as Deborah's. They're big, but not that big.

Ergh, Iyanla goes back to that cheesy inner child shit. Then she just takes her in her arms and holds Jen, telling her to cry her head off until she's tired and can't cry any more. Good job, I.