Episode Four

Saint Rhonda talks Deb into staying.

Heh. Kim reveals herself to be a Dr. Phil fan indirectly. Of course she does this by MIS-quoting him. In reference to Deborah she says, "Do you want to be right, or do you want to fix it?" I don't remember Phil's quote exactly, but that defenitely aint it. It's something like do you want to be right, or do you want people to want to hang around with your ass.

Rhonda takes Sinae to the eye doc. Yep, she's blind as a bat.

It's Kim's assignment to ask Deborah out to dinner. Deborah of course handles it strange. "That's like the President asking me out!" It's unclear if this was sarcasm.

They go out, and through most of their meal it looks like Kim wants to punch Debbie in the face. This definitely has "assignment" written all over it. Towards the end it gets nice though.

Sinae came home alone from the doc in a taxi. She brags about it to the house. Oh man.

Iyanla and Kim have a session, Iyanla shows Kim some cards. The first says "UGLY". The second, "JUDGEMENTAL". Kim weeps cause she says she's always felt ugly, aw shit. I want to bang her bad, she aint lookin too ugly to me. Next card: "SUPERIOR". Iyanla draws the incorrect analysis that this was what Kim was going for in a pic she showed to the group of herself, where her skirt pattern matched the pattern of her shopping bags. No, save it for another card. "RETARDED".

Towanda's big secret is revealed-- she's Toni Braxton's sister. I really relate to her sister-being-hugely-famous pain, or at least the odds are I will in the near future. Her and Toni were part of a singing group, Toni got signed as a solo artist and left. Then another group member left, and unlike Toni didn't even give them advanced notice about it happening. Group fell apart. Towanda sad and lost.

Towanda's assignment: go sing a capella at the mall. What the hell is her goal, to be homeless? Next assignment: make yourself a tin foil hat...

Rhonda tries to figure out the steps for Sinae's goal. During which it's revealed that Sinae is 18 and already a senior in college. Wooh, smart AND hot, nice package. Then she reveals that her boyfriend is black. Damn, ruined by the Jungle Love. When she gets the chance to do me, the sex for her will probably feel like she's doing a four year old.

Towanda goes to the mall and sings The Star Spangled Banner. She's very good, in that American Idol sort of way. Has all the talent in the world, but doesn't have a whole lot of taste in how she uses it. It's very "look at me".

Cut to Sinae wishing her blindness problem on all her family members. Well, not exactly. She wishes they were blind as bats too so they would accept her black boyfriend. Poke em out one by one [two by two], Sin-baby...

Kim shows Deborah Iyanla's card game, it looks like it's part of her assignment for Kim to tell everybody what a piece of crap she is. The card "UGLY" is revealed, and Kim confesses that she acts ugly by...putting on makeup.

"Let me get this straight... you act ugly by puttin on makeup???" Deborah can't swallow this honky horseshit. Yeah baby, keep it real.

Cut back to Towanda at the mall. She performed twice-- the first time with a sign saying "Towanda Smith" right beside her, the second one saying "Toni Braxton's sister". Life coach points out that the crowd acted positively to her both times, regardless of who she's related to. This may be true, but I could've sworn they went much more apeshit over "Toni Braxton's sister". Seemed like it at least.

Back at home, Towanda tells Deb about her day. Deborah starts singing the Star Spangled Banner herself. Everyone starts getting agitated, I didn't really mind. She has singing talent too. Cut to hours later, Deborah exercising on the patio, still fucking singing the song, Towanda and Kim inside on the couch wanting to strange the hell out of her.

Don't you hate those kind of people?